in which the naked chimp is unmasked, his machines debugged, and his bugbears debunked

Friday, January 18, 2008

“I’ll say sorry, but I’m not taking of my glasses.”

A week ago, nobody cared about whether Corey’s family name was Delaney or Worthington. Hell, a week ago, nobody cared about Narre Warren, the place that raised Corey in obscurity until last weekend. In a month’s time, Narre normal will have re-asserted itself, and the vast majority will have forgotten about Corey, his five hundred or more rowdy friends, the police helicopter, the dog squad, and the run-ins with the media As you read this, people are already forgetting to care, or they will, as soon as the next self-generating media story arrives.

On some level, Corey must have known this, must have known that he had approximately five days to flash in the greasy pan of 21C stardom, and that’s why Corey Delaney/Worthington is one of the most media-savvy people in Australia, and deserving of at least some respect. It all happened at that moment when ACA femmebot Leila McKinnon asked him the following question.


“What would you say to anyone who wanted to party while your parents are out of town?”

If that had been you or I or most people, we probably would have said something pathetically conciliatory – a mumbled apology. Something lame. When most of us were teenagers, we all had our Ferris Bueller fantasties, our Parker Lewis fantasies – but very few of us had the balls and stupidity (balls is often a kind of stupidity) to actually make the tree of madness bear ripe fruit. We were lame. At my school, we spent six years regaling one another with the muck up day exploits of previous years: the vice-principal’s Mini, carried up four flights of stairs and put on the roof. A neighbouring school, placed on the market and sold to a Hong Kong real estate speculator. Five tons of sand placed on the pedestrian island in the middle of the main street outside, to facilitate an all day beach party. But when our turn came, we produced no more than a handful of chicken eggs, the odd water balloon.

What we lacked, what the overwhelming majority of us lack, is that instinct to reply in the way Corey did, to say what he said. What did he say? What would Corey say to anyone who wanted to party while their parents are out of town? “Get me to do it for you.” For that moment, if for nothing else, Corey deserves the respect of all teenagers, past present and future. And hey, it’s a better news story than that cricket one from last week. Am I the only one who couldn’t be bothered working out what happened in order to care?

But there was also something admirable about the way Corey understood the role of his outfit in general and the sunglasses in particular, the way he quietly but defiantly refused to take them off, until they became an obsession to his interviewers – with that Tilley knob from Fox even trying to manhandle them off him. Corey knew, he knew he had fucked up in grand style, and he knew that all teenagers have but one chance to transition this kind of idiocy into an art. Corey had the space of five days and the airtime for perhaps two well-placed replies in media interviews. And he acquitted himself like a seasoned pro. Say what you will about his taste in parkas and parties, his poor parents, but Corey could teach us a thing or two about what it means to grab the spotlight by the balls (while mixing metaphors), not to mention showing the media the fluorescent reflection of its own ghoulish opportunism. Corey, I half-heartedly salute you.


And just in case you had any doubts, here, for the last time, is a list of what Corey can do for you and your party….

$200: For two hundred bucks I’ll get a bag of chips, some cruisers and maybe a strippa. It’ll be awesome. Everyone says so.

$500: For five hundred bucks I’ll get a six bags of chips, a group of sixteen year old girls who are really easy (my mate reckons he’s banged like five of them) heaps of cruisers and UDL’s coz they’re awesome and a TV Rock album because they make the party GO OFF.

$1000: For $1000 I’ll get all of the above, plus fireworks so that the police will be called and you might make the news.

$20,000: For $20,000 I’ll make you internationally famous by getting 500 idiots to attack police cars. Of course, you will have to pay $20,000 to clean up the mess but shit happens and it’s not my fault.

9 comments:

Anonymous said...

[u][b]Xrumer[/b][/u]

[b]Xrumer SEO Professionals

As Xrumer experts, we from been using [url=http://www.xrumer-seo.com]Xrumer[/url] for a wish immediately conditions and know how to harness the titanic power of Xrumer and build it into a Cash machine.

We also provide the cheapest prices on the market. Numberless competitors desire charge 2x or consistent 3x and a end of the opportunity 5x what we charge you. But we maintain in providing great accommodation at a tearful affordable rate. The entire point of purchasing Xrumer blasts is because it is a cheaper substitute to buying Xrumer. So we focusing to stifle that mental activity in mind and outfit you with the cheapest censure possible.

Not simply do we take the most successfully prices but our turnaround time for your Xrumer posting is super fast. We compel secure your posting done to come you certain it.

We also outfit you with a ample log of well-heeled posts on manifold forums. So that you can get the idea seeking yourself the power of Xrumer and how we get harnessed it to gain your site.[/b]


[b]Search Engine Optimization

Using Xrumer you can wish to see thousands upon thousands of backlinks over the extent of your site. Many of the forums that your Site you settle upon be posted on bear high PageRank. Having your link on these sites can truly expropriate build up some cover quality help links and really boost your Alexa Rating and Google PageRank rating via the roof.

This is making your site more and more popular. And with this better in celebrity as grammatically as PageRank you can think to appreciate your area definitely superiority expensive in those Search Engine Results.
Traffic

The amount of conveyance that can be obtained nearby harnessing the power of Xrumer is enormous. You are publishing your situation to tens of thousands of forums. With our higher packages you may even be publishing your locale to HUNDREDS of THOUSANDS of forums. Ponder 1 mail on a popular forum disposition almost always get 1000 or so views, with communicate 100 of those people visiting your site. Modern assume tens of thousands of posts on celebrated forums all getting 1000 views each. Your traffic longing associate through the roof.

These are all targeted visitors that are interested or bizarre in the matter of your site. Assume how innumerable sales or leads you can achieve with this colossal gang of targeted visitors. You are truly stumbling upon a goldmine primed to be picked and profited from.

Remember, Shipping is Money.
[/b]

GO YOUR CHEAP ERUPTION TODAY:


http://www.xrumer-seo.com

Anonymous said...

unlock iphone 4
unlock iphone 4
iphone 4 unlock

http://biznik.com/articles/crowdsourcing-your-graphic-design-work-its-bad-for-you-i-have-proof http://www.modmomsclub.com/content/3-tips-healthier-happy-holiday-season
my folders are blurr look like an virus what i have to do tell me
how to unlock iphone 4 unlock iphone 4

iphone 4 unlock [url=http://unlockiphone44.com]unlock iphone 4[/url] iphone 4 unlock unlock iphone 4

No Deposit Bonus said...

The rules of Texas Hold'em poker require to play with a classic 52-card deck. You will have at your disposal the possibility to choose between several tables with different numbers of players, particularly if you decide to play online. The classic table is 8 players, but often you play up to a maximum of 10. There are tables 9, in particular online and the specialty that is most prevalent is the one called "shorthand" ie with table to 6 players. In the opinion of many players, this is the best way to play and not have to wait to play a lot of hands in position, contrary to what happens when you play in 10 of the table.

Speaking of Texas Hold'em here are the general rules of the beautiful game. The goal is to score the best combination of five cards.
First Sammy on road

You can take the two cards that you are dealt you can choose whether or not to play his hand depending on your location to and from the dealer are dealt to each player clockwise. Once you have seen the cartl table and pair of cards that has been deployed.

Free Poker said...

An interesting and informative article discovered in the American forum 2 +2 suggests various methods of "systematic training", offering several exercises to improve various aspects of their game. I will again present translated into Italian!

As documented in many books published recently as "Talent is Overrated", "The Genius in All of Us" or "Talent Code", all the research expertise in the various areas show that the best minds in every field in which there is competition, like sports, have reached their elite level by following essentially the same procedure: almost obsessively maintain a routine of three or four hours a day of "systematic training" over the years.

You are probably thinking this site tell me story, yes, we know. The study makes perfect, blah blah blah. "But then it happens to everyone to turn off your brain and watch an instructional video in a passive way of thinking, however, have "done your homework" for the day. The central point of the research carried out is that if you want to achieve a high level is not enough: in poker, grind hours and hours in "automatic pilot" without thinking, or do reviews sporadically and only looking at your hands with more substantial dishes, or watch some spare time on hand analysis forum, is not quite adequate.

Anonymous said...

[url=http://www.onlinecasinos.gd]casinos online[/url], also known as noticeable casinos or Internet casinos, are online versions of distinguished ("cobber and mortar") casinos. Online casinos admit gamblers to enjoy oneself and wager on casino games with the keep from the Internet.
Online casinos habitually cautious up championing sale odds and payback percentages that are comparable to land-based casinos. Some online casinos depot forth higher payback percentages with a express people's custody in particular felony games, and some announce payout sherd audits on their websites. Assuming that the online casino is using an fittingly programmed indefinitely assorted generator, catalogue games like blackjack clothed an established watch over edge. The payout split up after these games are established at knee-jerk the rules of the game.
Miscellaneous online casinos withdraw together or obtaining their software from companies like Microgaming, Realtime Gaming, Playtech, Wide-ranging Circumvent Technology and CryptoLogic Inc.

Anonymous said...

I quite like reading a post that will make men and women think.
Also, thanks for allowing for me to comment!

Stop by my blog post; how to make money fast online for free

Anonymous said...

You would not mind if it was just starting your job. The movie has everything what we fans always expect
from the Hollywood flicks. All you need to do
is to woof on the one that provides you with the great services and
best prices.

Stop by my web site ... IDM crack

Anonymous said...

Your ѕtanԁ уou deсide on mіght haѵe а good deal to do with receiving and burning
off mаny game titles people just enјoу against thе dealer, neveгtheless inexperienced рeoρle plus the desκ may trigger
you tо shed also, if you are taking part in
up againѕt the seller a рerson reallу neeԁ to mаkе certain
another ρarticipants fоr thе
kіtchen table tend to be juѕt like anyonе оr else much
better, howevеr in a spоrt simіlаr tο Texas hоld em ωheгe you
are paгticіpating in up against the many peοple wіth the κitchen
tablе a pеrsοn actuаlly want to plаy
togethег with gameгs who're much less great or even seasoned because you to aid supply you with the side. We have now study several critiques on the internet from various other Casino evaluate web sites, and also all of them targeted precisely how this specific Casino caters mainly to help UNITED STATES avid gamers.

Also visit my webpage; online casino slots jungle

Anonymous said...

anԁ the Nаtuгe Off-road high roller casino in Μojaνe, havіng 9, 500 reсtangular fοot along wіth 260 slots.

high rollеr cаsino typiсаlly ѕupρly the bordеrs out рertаining tο
a νаrietу of marketіng good гeasons.


The Author

[almost nothing] about me

My photo
PC is an animal of the antipodes believed to be related to a gibbon.